Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Anthony (Tony) Robbins. Tony is a motivational speaker and life coach who does a lot of work to help improve lives around the globe.
I have summarized a section from one of Tony’s most influential workshops (Get the Edge!) to help you master your emotions.
Anytime you feel an emotion, use the information below to understand it, and take action. Use this guide to regain balance in your life.
Master your Emotions (before they master you):
The emotions you feel are your bodies way of signalling you that something is right or wrong in your life.
If you feel happy, things internally are good. If you feel sad, something may be off balance. Something may need to be examined or changed.
Every emotion has a message for you.
It is a signal. If you can understand the signal, you will be able to make them serve you. master your own state of mind (or self). The result is happiness, excitement, and growth.
Core Emotions:
Understand your emotions. Make them serve you. Take appropriate action.
Uncomfortable (boredom, impatience, distressed, mildly embarrassed)
The Message:
- You need to Immediately change your state.
The Solution:
- Clarify what you want out of life or a certain situation and take immediate action towards that direction.
Fear (concern, apprehension, worry, anxiety, scared, terrified)
The Message:
- You are not prepared, confident, or ready for something that awaits.
The Solution:
- You need to prepare (something is coming in the near future that you need to be prepared for).
Hurt (loss, pain)
The Message:
- You have an expectation that is not being met.
The Solution:
- Change your perspective on the situation.
- Try looking at the problem through someone else’s eyes.
- Change the way you are communicating your desires or needs to others.
- Change the way you are behaving or treating others.
- Give up the fact that you are right about this situation.
Anger (irritated, livid, resentful, furious, enraged, jealousy)
The Message:
- An important rule that you believe in has been violated by you or someone else.
The Solution:
- Ensure that you have clearly communicated your values, rules, or standards in the first place.
- Clarify with people what your rules are.
- Consider other peoples standards, not everyone has the same ones.
- Understand that not everyone is going to play by your rules.
- Change your rules so that they are not so rigid as to leave you in disappointment overtime when they are not met.
Frustration (held back, hindered)
The Message:
- You keep trying to get the same result by doing the same thing over and over again.
The Solution:
- Change your Approach.
“Insanity is trying the same things over and over while expecting different results.”
Disappointment (sad, defeated)
The Message:
- You set strong goals that are not realistic for where you are at right now.
The Solution:
- Change your goals to something more reasonable at this exact moment.
Guilt (regret, remorse).
The Message:
- You have violated one of your own standards.
The Solution:
- You must do something immediately to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
- Change your present and future behavior.
Inadequacy (less than, unworthy)
The Message:
- You need to do something to improve a situation, right away.
- You have too many rules and too much is expected of you. You need to relax.
The Solution:
- Learn more about a subject.
- Practice the subject.
- Don’t compare yourself to others; take control of your own life.
- Tone down some your rules (they may be too harsh).
Overloaded (depression, hopeless, overwhelmed)
The Message:
- You need to re-evaluate what is most important to you.
Solution:
- What is absolutely most important to you? Clarify and make a list of these items.
- Handle the list, one simple issue at a time.
- Take control of events, master each one.
- You’re expecting you’re whole world to be perfect over night… chunk it down, and tackle it bit by bit.
Lonely (separate from, alone)
The Message:
- You need a connection (not necessarily specific to sexual or physical).
The Solution:
- Identify the type of connection you need, intimacy? friendship? family?
- Take action, and move in this direction right away.
- If every emotion has a message for you, you need to do something about it.
- Identify the Emotion (signal)
- Appreciate the message, respect it, don’t make it wrong and avoid it.
- Get Curious – How can you use this signal/message to improve?
- Get Confident (recall a time you had one of these emotions and got over it).
- Get Certain
- Get excited and take action, this will empower your life
Helpful Hints: If you ignore these signals, they won’t go away, they will just intensify, until you are forced to change.
- Don’t get caught up or defeated by your emotions, hear the message and act upon it instead.
- Be pro-active, not re-active.
I really hope the above information helps you handle the various situations life throws your way with a deeper understanding. I would love to hear your own stories about how you overcame a certain problem or situation in your life. If the information above has helped you in any way, feel free to comment below! =)