You Gotta Love Yourself First! (or it all falls apart)

You Gotta Love Yourself First Art

I get it.

We all crave and deserve the warm, fuzzy and happy feelings that come when someone acknowledges or appreciates something we do.

It feels NICE!


But too many of us do stuff for all the wrong reasons. We do stuff because we WANT SOMETHING in return… we want smiles, hugs, likes, love, respect, appreciation, chocolate almonds and more.

This is a selfish way of doing things, which sets us up for dissapointment.


You see my friend, we really gotta love ourselves first… UNCONDITIONALLY.

By loving ourselves first we become whole and strong. So nothing outside of us can push us over.


If we don’t love ourselves first, RIGHT NOW! and constantly seek the approval of others, the foundation of our lives will be shaky. When we start to grow tall, we’ll be prone to falling over with the slightest push from others. So just love yourself first my dear friend. :)


Focus On You!

If we live to please and gain love and acceptance from others before loving ourselves, we’ll never be happy or satisfied.

The little they give us will slip through the cracks of our fractured sense of selves.

“No amount of love could ever be enough for someone who doesn’t love them-self first.”

One day people will stop caring, they may not want you or your gifts anymore. If you were dependant on that as your fuel to survive… you’ll be out of gas and feel lost in the middle of nowhereville.


If you don’t love yourself first you’ll quit as soon as the going gets tuff. You won’t see your goals through and you’ll try something new (over and over, never completing anything at all).

You’ll never be happy and you’ll always be seeking and searching (this reminds me of me so much!)


Love yourself first. 

Do it for you.

Do it because you love you.

Do it because you are the master of you universe.

Yes you.


When you love yourself first… you

  • overflow with positivity, love and joy, lighting up everyone and everything around you.
  • become a filler of the void, rather than a seeker of approval (we need more of this in the world).
  • become a light during dark times (a true leader!).
  • love others unconditionally because you love yourself unconditionally (isn’t that the point of life!?).


Don’t wait for anyone’s approval, affection, or love as means to make something happen. DO IT FOR YOU.


Practice loving yourself everyday. Light a candle if you have to.

You are worth it.


So How Do You Love Yourself First?

Practice, practice, practice. It’s like a muscle, with a little work everyday it will get stronger!


Here’s how:


1. Empty your head and let go of old ways of thinking.

Easier said that done right? It’s important though, read on…

We’ve got a lot of negative programming and negative data in our heads right now. This makes it difficult to love ourselves by default. This negative data was passed down to us through generations of people who didn’t learn to love themselves first!




We need to understand that we are not bound to this bad information we CAN and ARE responsible for liberating our own minds by self-educating and learning new ways of thinking for ourselves.

Empty your head of old information and fill it regularly with good and “new” information.


2. Grow Spiritually.

Spend time learning, exploring and growing your spiritual intelligence. Do this the same way you would to improve your physical and mental intelligence.. 

Most people hear the words SPIRITUAL, GOD, or RELIGION and go into a freaky seizure.


I invite you to do the opposite and explore spiritual themes with an open mind.


Always be exploring and learning something new. Sift through the negative stuff and consume the good.


The way I’ve been growing my spiritual intelligence is by attending social/spiritual gatherings and workshops, investigating and studying sacred writings from various religions and participating in conferences.


When we grow spiritually, we tap into true love and self-acceptance. Spiritual education helps us evolve faster than a speeding bullet! Highly evolved beings shed love like no other!


Do not deprive your souls thirst for spirituality. It’s an essential part of truly loving yourself!


3. Only see the good in yourself and others.

Give yourself a little credit!

Focus on all the good things about yourself (and others)

  • How kind you are
  • How helpful you have been
  • How funny you are!

Everyone has good in them. It’s important to pick them out and amplify them.

Don’t dwell on the negative or bad things about yourself or others, it’s pointless and energy consuming.

I dare you to try this with your spouse or partner in crime (Ignore the bad things they do and focus on the good!)

It’ll do wonders for your relationship.


4. Be ok with who you are and where you are right now.

Nobody is perfect and nobody gets everything they want all at once. Have patience. In time you’ll get what you need. Just focus on loving and accepting yourself TODAY (perfectly imperfect). Forget what other people think or say or expect of you, they have a lot to work on as well.

As a matter of fact feel sorry for them, the harder they are on you, multiply that by 100x and that’s how they treat themselves! Ouch. That sucks.


5. Don’t take anything personally.

Most people see the world as they see themselves. If you aren’t happy with what you see inside you, you won’t be happy with what you see in others and the world around you.

When someone gives you praise, it’s because they’re getting something they want, it doesn’t have much to do with you at all.

If someone gives you a hard time, it’s not because of you. It’s because they’re not getting something that THEY want.

So don’t take things personally.


6. Cut out self-esteem sucks from your life.

It can be tough loving yourself. Hang out with people that accept you as you are and avoid the people that criticize, judge, or make you feel not so great!


Art explaining self-esteem sucks and how to get rid of them.

Simple right?


let’s keep it going,


7. Keep working on yourself!

Life is an adventure full of learning, self discovery and growth. So keep improving yourself bit by bit at your own pace. Before you know it you’ll start to love yourself regardless of external circumstances and situations.

You’ll stand strong!

You are beautiful the way you are and you were designed to grow and evolve. So don’t stop!


Art displaying text You Are Beautiful


8. Serve the world.

Our purpose in this life is to get really good at stuff and then do stuff for others! (that’s true service)

Serving can be anything that makes the world a better place, uplifts the people and helps with the advancement of our civilization.

It can take many forms and only YOU will know if you are reaching your full serving potential–you’ll know by how happy you are.


Not so happy? it’s because you haven’t reached a certain potential where you feel good about what you are providing to the planet around you.

Givers are happy, Takers are miserable.


The trick is to serve to the best of your ability and not cut yourself short. So whether you decide to take on a new job, invent something new, or start a fashion blog, be true to yourself and let your developing strengths bring light into the world in the form of service.

Service and self-love flow together. If you are having a hard time loving yourself, ask yourself if you have truly been of service to the world today?


If the answer is no, repeat step 7 until you feel the magic growing inside you and are ready to serve the world.


That’s about it!

I hope this helps you find love and peace from within yourself instead of from the outside.

If you found this post helpful, pls share it with anyone you feel would benefit :)


If there is something else you think people should know, comment below!


Much Love!


  • Suzanne

    You really crack me up in every post. (Especially about that baby thing xD) And your information is very useful. Thank you!:)
    Lots of Love<33

    • Leo Tabibzadegan

      haha Thanks Suzanne, glad I could be informative AND entertaining! lol, and thanks for reading :)

      • Suzan

        Hey! 3 years later and this (and others) still help:)

        • Leo Tabibzadegan

          hehe, 3 years later and i’m re-reading this and appreciating it :) Thanks for commenting and reminding me it’s still here! :)

  • Joppa

    Thank you for writing this.

    • Leo Tabibzadegan